Goalcast is an inspiring community for achievers dedicated to helping you improve all aspects of your life. Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a f**k about them. And I didnt really care in the first place.George Carlin, Dont confuse me with those who cling to hope. Its interested in its own power. George Carlin Sayings and Quotes about life! I have certain rules I live by. The planet is fine. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, 43. I love individuals. Its so f***ing heroic. , If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. if (sourcesToHideBuyFeatures[i] == source) (?) Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. Comedian Ever. document.getElementsByTagName("head")[0].appendChild(stylesheet); Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. George Carlin, 19. Showing 1-30 of 421 "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." George Carlin tags: humor , insanity , lies , lying , self-indulgence , truth 19588 likes Like "The planet is fine. All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another. George Carlin, 69. In this blog post, well take a look at some of his best quotes on the subject. I dont believe anything the government tells me., Governments dont want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. They all said: 'Try to live together peacefully.' [.] Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin, There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. George Carlin. This video is an ideal way to start your day off on a funny and thought provoking note and stay inspired through. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. gads.async = true; Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. if (window.Mobvious === undefined) { Thats the problem. 4. They should be more vivid. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear themusic. googletag.cmd = googletag.cmd || []; Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. This made him outstanding. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.George Carlin, When youre born into this world, youre given a ticket to the freak show. Period. Enjoy! It can help you a lot. George Carlin, 8. The following quotes are some of the most thought provoking sentences youll ever read. People cant seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. Government is an important institution. The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. for(var i=0; i. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. George Carlin, 74. George Carlin was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, after he passed away that year at the age of 71. var ue_t0=window.ue_t0||+new Date(); God has a three-day weekend.George Carlin, Theres a humorous side to every situation. I think that speaks for itself. It will be Nikesneakers and Smiley shirts. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, By and large, languageis a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres theself-helpsection? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. That's the problem. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. Weve added years to life, not life to years. Get future posts byemail,oryou can follow us onInstagram,Pinterest,andFacebook. It will not be with jack-boots. And far from staying to the safer path, he leapt time and again past the cliff of common wisdom, in the hopes of rattling us into questioning the way we live. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. Resources. "Events.Namespace": "csa", Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. George Carlin "The planet is fine. try { " Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." George Carlin "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity." George Carlin We can afford to cut defense; we cant afford to cut education. googletag.enableServices(); page: {requestId: "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", meaningful: "interactive"} Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. Famous and remained in the controversies for his dark comedy and the reflections on politics, religions, and social taboo, Carlin is considered one of the most influential comedians of all time. October 29, 2004. George Carlin. Because theres no money in that problem. "Government want to tell you things you can't say because they're against the law, or you can't say this because it's against a regulation, or here's something you can't say because its a.secret; "You can't tell him that because he's not cleared to know that." Government wants to control information and control . Whether youre looking for inspirational or funny quotes by George Carlin or whether youre looking for his famous quotes politics and education, its all here. George Carlin > Quotes (?) We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. The planet is fine. This is what we have to offer. he must of been a brilliant man mostly misunderstood by most people wish i would of met him in person one on one, 51 Best John Muir Quotes On Nature, Mountains, Trees, 50 To Kill A Mockingbird Atticus Quotes With Page Numbers, Happy Birthday Nephew Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Happy Birthday Daughter Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Good Morning Happy Monday Images With Quotes, Wishes, Cute & Romantic Happy Birthday Love Images For Him, Her, Happy Birthday Dog Images With Quotes For Your Puppy, Happy Birthday Niece Images With Wishes, Messages, Quotes, Depression Quotes Images | Feeling Sad Pictures, Wallpaper, Happy Birthday Son Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Happy Birthday Husband Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages For Hubby, Good Morning Quotes Images To Make Your Day Beautiful. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. If the parent corporation doesn't want you to know something, it won't be on the news. Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky. George Carlin Quotes Government : "Most of the government wants to control information and language so that it can control you. 2023 Inspirationfeed. George Carlin. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, 41. Whether you agree with him or not, Carlins views are definitely worth considering. I mean, life is tough. Did you enjoy this article? The people are fucked.George Carlin, A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed.George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.George Carlin, I think I am, therefore, I am I think.George Carlin, Everyone smiles in the same language.George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think.George Carlin, Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. What exactly is viewer discretion? Electricity is really just organized lightning. George Carlin, 20. He was born May 12, 1937, in New York City into an Irish Catholic family, but he rejected the faith. 2. " George Carlin Below youll find the best collection of George Carlin quotes. I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. George Carlin quotes government sayings, in particular, are thought-provoking. Im completely in favour of the separation of Church and State. "Never argue with an idiot. He loves you. Pointing out the things which are influencing our society badly with humor is not an easy task to do. They own everything. You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.George Carlin, Theres no present. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? I have certain rules I live by. The less said about it the better. George Carlin, 38. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Required fields are marked *. But he loves you. "I have a right, you have no right, we have a right." Folks I hate to spoil your fun, but. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. You know why? " George Carlin Quotes George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin, 77. I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. The less said about it the better. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reasonGeorge Carlin, They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. And a list of people theyre going to visit at 3am. Were so self-important. While some of his views may not be popular among the masses, he does make an interesting point when it comes to government. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. George Carlin, 23. I enjoy describing how things are, I have no interest in how they ought to be. And I certainly have no interest in fixing them. Theres a humorous side to every situation. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past.George Carlin, Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now its trying to save its body. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten.George Carlin, Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town.George Carlin, And although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, 53. Toothpicks?George Carlin, No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. ' George Carlin, 56. var cookies = document.cookie.split('; '); The late great comedian George Carlin has many great quotes about life and society, here are some of them. His jokes were certainly aimed to provoke others but the hows and whys of it made him so exceptional. Hes just sayin that stuff. Good. We made 'em up. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("sid", "osid.b75ee1b4ab41ae6cecc3e4c769a5b3df"); Right in the f--in head! the important thing is to, first of all, question everything you read or hear or see or are told. "CacheDetection.RequestID": "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", He loves you and he needs money. You know how I define the economic and social classes in this country? //=0){return}if("ue_https" in e){f=e.ue_https}else{f=e.location&&e.location.protocol=="https:"?1:0}i=f? A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed. Most people with low self-esteem have earned it. George Carlin, 29. George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. !function(){function n(n,t){var r=i(n);return t&&(r=r("instance",t)),r}var r=[],c=0,i=function(t){return function(){var n=c++;return r.push([t,[].slice.call(arguments,0),n,{time:Date.now()}]),i(n)}};n._s=r,this.csa=n}();
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