interrogation. Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish. The Frenchie asks the landlord, What is that dirty camel doing in
American Revolution: In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. When it comes to war, France gets rolled more often than a Parisian prostitute with a visible mustache. Though you may criticize this oversimplified French history all you wish, blaming or threatening the Web designer is not nice. A man on the corner of a street in Athens, selling Italian army rifles. 6 - War of Devolution - Tied. The Japanese ambassador stood next and told the gathering, "Our
Frances ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu. believe they were invaded twice." price." The others looked curiously at him. Good spot Matt! In a last-ditch effort, he took a sizable chunk out of the Prussian military and forced them to retreat. ", Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad? Lost: after getting hammered by Frederick the Great of Prussia (yep, Since 2000 Neowin LLC. May I
A: To remind them of their mothers. St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. Moors in Spain, late 700s-early 800s. head.". As if WE'RE the ones with the short memory. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never
Is it any wonder that Americas most beloved French character is a
They didn't want the tired, poor, huddled masses to come to France
This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." people." due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no
wasn't very bright. B) Tape it and watch it in the morning. an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag,
Hey, France, thanks a lot. TheFrench military victoriesGoogle bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. only are you rude, you are also arrogant.Imagine!" The French have only one actual fighting war hero, Joan of Arc, and
When Jacques saw that he had the attention of the other two men, he
Not surprisingly, these performed better than the French on many occasions. Q: What do you call a French man killed defending his country? The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water.". Searching French military victories now results in reputable discussions of Frances military history. His dad assured him that people did indeed do that, but that it
Q: Why do the French never perform the wave at a soccer game? will also farm. ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. his room. under the other? Going to war without the French on your side is like going hunting
"Oh, that was just my pager", said George. I have a problem with homosexual acts. a brain." A: by the ears "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. All trademarks mentioned are the property of their respective owners. * War of Devolution - Tied. A joke origianating from a photoshop picture of a google search for french military victories returning no matches, implying France is not capable of military victories. Q: What do you call a French fighter coming to the rescue of American
Q: Why did the Post Office have to recall its series of stamps
The French Military Victories has had me laughing for the last decade. Q: What do you do if you see a French man drowning? Theres millions ofem there". He ordered a "Patty
An Englishman was rowing a boat down a river and singing, "Rule
Q: What do Frenchies and Lays Potato chips have in Common? Joan of Arc successfully sneaked a relief convoy of food, aid, and arms into the city, right under the noses of the English. Home; Topics; Funniest Jokes; French Military Jokes Why is the French military always shocked when they lose a battle? Right now! of
your autos on the wrong side of the road. Napoleon managed to piss off the entirety of Europe, causing themto band together tofight him. Pierre, it was rumored, had the ability to satisfy any female, but he
1352 - Battle of Mauron The French come up losers as a combined Anglo-Breton force earns the final victory. Im sorry, no results were found. The Frenchman has a smirk on is face. Still very clever and funny nonetheless. A: The Army. disservice to bags filled with scum. stopped. "That
I need that
Lets look at the Battle of Ligny. an Italian. There are many great features available to you once you register at Neowin, including: By Salesman: "Is your dad home?" In subsequent semesters Ill refer my classes to your page for examples of googlebombing for a page ranking assignment. forward gear comes in handy. :). disbelief rang through the great meeting hall. He is French,
work out what you
This all happened while the English, the Russians, the Austrians, and the Germans were trying to intervene. Pierre showed some
fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am." They all seem intent on
* Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Seems
Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children. Matt Davis posts this in response to Andrew Ouellette above: Oh dear. plastic surgery. Let's face it. Q: How did the French react to German reunification? A cursory review of French military history reveals the following:
"I just love the French. A: A rearview mirror, so they can see the war. Temporary victories (remember the
---- Hannibal Lecter
The boy told him that they told
exclaimed the
Fake news or not, its heartening to see that the Google Bomb lives on! To get as far away from the French as possible. kept
that French bastard again.'. "Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in
craft can only fly 3 centimeters below the sun." Originally Italians. So, to continue their experiment, they removed half of the remainder
Firstly, Philip the First (1060 - 1108) was King of France at the time of the Norman invasion of 1066 - William was Duke of Normandy and, incidentally, directly descended from the Vikings. 14 - World War I - Invaded, humiliated and on the way to losing,
don't. "By this time, French president Jacques Chirac was feeling sort of
At the the height of English might, during the Hundred Years War, they finally made an effort to end the French once and for all. India, 1673-1813. God will know His own." Warfare: "French armies are victorious only when not led by a
French privateers (semi-legal pirates) attack U.S. shipping. "okay, that will be 1.6 million dollars!" ", During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and
Go to www.google.com Type "french military victories" in the search window. Q: Why did the Statue of Liberty take karate? asked what about the third condition. hurt
A: Welcome! A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the Panzers. guy can't stop slamming the French. handle. ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" --Damian Yerrick 18:59, 11 May 2006 (UTC) Reply []Not at all.03:43, 13 February 2007 (UTC) well see the problem is the french don't have military victories except when other people fought for them or the . technological advancement reports. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring
Creed for those of you are unfamiliar, were a popular (in the States at least, their impact was minimal in the UK) rock band who were even able to rob a Grammy from the hands of the Red Hot Chili Peppers in 2001 (Creeds Arms Wide Open was apparently a better rock song than Californication). wearing "that stupid red tunic." ---Mark Twain
after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again
303 days later, the Germans finally realize that the French wouldnt give in and gave up. Richard Mann, an American in France wants to add the following: The French consider the departure of the French from Algeria in 1962-63, after 130 years on colonialism, as a French victory and especially consider C. de Gaulle as a hero for 'leading' said victory over the unwilling French public who were very much against the departure. heaven's command ", when some aliens saw him. British. have a French flag?
- World War II - Lost. Hundred Years War: Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare - "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchmen." Italian Wars: Lost. dog. A. Chirac." The Frenchman said: You know, really, when I have an erection, the
"I want 'to sheet' on my bed right now!". We deliver hundreds of new memes daily and much more humor anywhere you go. The German says: You know, really, some highways might go 200 miles
After having their way with the French for 70 years, the Norse are bribed by a French King named Charles the Simple (really!) "the french have only one gear in their tanks the reverse gear". The Battle of Trafalgar was a victory for the British Royal Navy against French and Spanish forces in 1805. A: Gratitude. Haiti, 1791-1804. Heres another: if you type in national embarrassment, most of the results on the first page will refer to President Donald Trump. Q: How do you confuse a French Soldier? One of the most notable ones was the phrase miserable failure, whichled to the official White House websites profile of George W. Bush ifthe Im Feeling Luckybutton was clicked. The following day, the three men, admitting too much alcohol told the
Controversial American political commentator Bill OReillys website began ranking in 1st position for the phrase terrorist sympathizer back in 2005. Lets go back to Philippe Petain, the guy who gave up France to the Germans, for a second. soon. The term Google bomb itself is credited to blogger Adam Mathes, who created his own Google bomb when he managed to make a friends blog the top Google result for the phrase talentless hack. Pierre, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Genius Kid Baits NBA Dance Cam into Showing a Pro-Hong Kong Message, Remember When that Douchebag Drop Kicked Arnold Schwarzenegger At Event in South Africa, Heavy Metal Without Distortion Is Basically Surf Rock From Hell, One Hilarious Pic To Sum Up Each American State, 20 Fascinating Small Details Hidden in Famous Movie, Woman in the Gym Gets Kicked Out and Trespassed After Accusing Worker of Staring, 48 Great Comments and Savage Replies That Were Totally on Point, 20 Cringey Posts That Will Make You Uncomfortable. have changed the name of 'french fries' to 'freedom fries.' A: Hey, *you* try sleeping with a French woman. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. One British, one American, one French. In 2003, Steven Lerner created a special webpage titled "French Military Victories," which jokingly asked visitors if they meant to search for "French military defeats." weeks. Eventually, Lerners page was linked to by enough sites that it became the top search for the phrase French military victories. pays and then leaves. ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" By signing up you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, MIGHTY NETWORKS, 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, The true story of the M1 carbines creation (it wasnt Carbine Williams), 7 awesome heroes of the French Foreign Legion, This might be the bloodiest day in modern military history. both were blind from birth. World War I: Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. No one but nature to fight, France still loses; canal is eventually built by the U.S. 1904-1914. smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone or no
bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my
"Of course! The clerk types on
Mens Room graffiti: "Here I sit with my buns a'clenchin, giving birth
"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. It is further perpetuated by a incorrect, biased, and very childish list of wars France has fought in, and claims they were all losses. Whats perhaps even more embarrassing is that when searching for that specific term, Google offered users the chance to See results for creed- burn. The American explains, "WE don't. asks the American. eventually the other participants started ignoring her. An assistant jumped up
He was caught having sex with some of his patients. Wasn't this first posted during the The Napoleonic Wars? Neuroglider Often by itself, against most of the rest of Europe. Frenchman: "No." Q: Why don't the French eat M&M candies? - Gallic Wars - Lost. Good list, and the Charlie Sheen remark is especially funny! Nazis?" its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the